Even though I know better, I’m doing it again. “Shoulding all over myself.” This phrase makes people laugh, but it is a very uncomfortable feeling. AI told me that “The phrase “shoulding all over yourself” was coined by Albert Ellis, a psychologist known for developing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), to describe the tendency to overwhelm oneself with “should” statements or expectations.”
I went away for a few days. I SHOULD have kept up with my writing, but I didn’t.
I’m trying to write this morning. I SHOULD have a story, an idea, a poem, or a good question, but my brain keeps rejecting every possibility.
I SHOULD have practiced the piano more in the last week. Actually, I didn’t practice.
I SHOULD organize all the things. I met someone in the Verizon store last week who said she had actually finished her Swedish Death Cleaning. Done. I was beyond impressed, but I SHOULDN’T compare.
The daily SHOULDs of cleaning, cooking, laundry, are ever present.
But what do I WANT when the SHOULDs stop shouting? I just want peace, time with my loved ones, maybe a walk outside, or a little needlework. That’s really enough.
Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.
pelicansandprose 
Oh great phrase! I live this way and this is helpful. I made myself not work one day last weekend and it was pretty telling how many times I thought about what I “should” be doing. Thanks for this!
Enough was my one little word a few years ago, and I still have a bracelet with the word. I wear it to remind me that most days what I do is enough. Shoulding is like a hamster wheel. You can go on forever. But stop. You’re good. I’m good, too. Even though I should be heading to school right this minute.
I, too, want more of what you named. Time with loved ones is precious! A walk outside can be transforming. And busying yourself with a project transports you into another world!
Marilyn, “shoulding all over yourself” has a great ring to it, and it’s important to remember. I took a long detour looking at what Swedish Death Cleaning was. I think I have begun that, as I am hating my cluttered cabinets so much. This week I took six big boxes to the thrift store for donation.
I made a bag of paper recycling today! Progress!
I love how you turned should into a noun. I am going to share this with my neighbor because she will love “shoulding”. I hope you get more time with all things you want- that is what you should do!
Along with shoulding comes grace and those special little moments that mean the most…and yes, are enough!
I saw your title and knew your post would be speaking to me. Shoulding is such a joy stealer.