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The Gym Lesson

I joined a small local gym in the fall of 2023. It was a really good decision. The weight training sessions are supervised by a certified trainer; up to 8 women can attend; the music is varied (one trainer likes 80s music); the workouts are different each time.

Each week has a theme for exercise: Strength, Sweat, Stamina, and Stability. About every six weeks, they add “Heavy” Week. This week was Heavy Week. In these workouts, each exercise is repeated 4 times. Each repetition you increase the weight you are using. In the first round you aim for 12-15 repetitions; the second, 10-12; the third, 8-10; and the fourth, 4-6. Each round decreases in time. What I’ve learned from Heavy Week is that I can do more than I thought I could, and most of the time, I play it safe and don’t push as hard as I might. Maybe that’s okay since I’m getting older and don’t want injury.

What I’ve learned in the weekly rotations is that Sweat, Stamina, and Strength feel fun and energizing. The time goes really fast. Stability work is not so fun. The challenges sometimes feel scary in this older body, and the hour seems long. During Stability Week, we work on exercises that require balance while challenging one side of the body with weights. It’s surprising to discover how different it can feel to work on only one side of your body. One side usually feels much stronger, flexible, or more coordinated. At least that’s been my experience.

During this writing month, I’ve also experienced strength, sweat, stamina, and stability as a reader and as a writer. Some of my writing days took strength to write; some made me sweat. Other days I faltered and lacked stamina/stability to do the task. But, I know that falter does not mean failure. Maybe this SOLSC is our writing “Heavy Month.” It lets us know we can do more than we thought we could.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 9 Comments

The Ballet Lesson

Last night, I was the lucky recipient of a ticket to the Kennedy Center to see the the New York City Ballet’s performance of “Coppelia.” My sister had purchased the ticket for herself, but due to illness in her family, she couldn’t go. While I was sad for her circumstance, I was grateful for her generous offer to let me use the ticket.

When I was twelve, my piano teacher introduced me to the music of this ballet. She had an edition of piano transcriptions of the music scored for an intermediate pianist. I remember the cover of the book with its bright colors and fairy tale-like images. I learned the waltz which you can listen to here. I loved learning it then, and had happy memories hearing it again last night.

According to Wikipedia the story of the ballet goes something like this: Dr. Coppélius is a doctor who has made a life-size dancing doll. It is so lifelike that Franz, a village youth, becomes infatuated with it and sets aside his heart’s true desire, Swanhilda. She shows him his folly by dressing as the doll, pretending to make it come to life and ultimately saving him from an untimely end at the hands of the inventor. (See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copp%C3%A9lia#:~:text=Dr.,the%20hands%20of%20the%20inventor.) It’s a silly story, but the music, set design, costumes, and dance made it a joyful evening.

Act III of the ballet (choreographed by George Balanchine) was created primarily to showcase the company, not so much to advance the plot of the story. It was such a delight for my eyes and ears. Because my ticket was for a seat I might not have afforded for myself, I had an up-close view of the dancers. I saw the joy of movement in their faces and bodies which made the evening a delightful lift to my soul.

The Pas de Deux of the principal dancers, Franz and Swanhilda, was stunning. As I watched, I could see how much strength and control was expended to achieve such grace. At one point, Swanhilda was grasping the forearm of Franz with an intensity I hadn’t observed before. I realized that from other vantage points in the Opera House, the audience might be unaware of the level of work these dancers were putting forth. They made it look effortless, but it was anything but easy. Their stamina, balance, athleticism, and grace were beyond impressive.

I remembered at that moment an idea I heard once about the importance of a “reliable” partner. In the Pas de Deux, the ballerina must hold positions while on point supported by her male counterpoint. They must practice hours and hours to build trust that can sustain the demands of the dance. It’s a lesson to me to think about the kind of partner I need to be to sustain my family in the demands of their “dance” of life. Where might I offer a hand of stability, a smile of recognition, a leg up of help, or a step back to let them shine?

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 10 Comments

Writing with Others

One of the joys of technology has been the opportunity to write with others. I have participated in weekly writing with the TeachWrite community; in James Crews’ The Monthly Pause; and in workshops with Georgia Heard and Ralph Fletcher. These experiences have been transformational for me personally and as a writer.

This past week, Georgia Heard used a poem to inspire our writing, “You Can’t Have it All” by Barbara Ras which you can read here. I didn’t realize how much I needed this exercise in noticing, in remembering moments of awe, in gratitude. How much I needed to hush my fears and lay down despair. Georgia reminded me that we can look at life through the lens of abundance or the lens of despair. We have the choice. Too often, of late, I have let fear cloud my view.

Barbara Ras’ poem ends with “There is the voice you can still summon at will, like your mother’s, it will always whisper, you can’t have it all, but there is this.”

Here are a few lines that I wrote – my own “there is this” – still very much in draft form. I encourage you to try this practice: You can’t have it all, but you can have…See where it might take you.

Draft:

You can’t have it all
but once,
I witnessed an autumn sunrise in a golden aspen grove
as sheep were led down the steep mountain road
by an Indian on horseback.
And more than once,
I’ve stood in meadows of bluebells surrounded in softness
up to my knees
or even my hips.
As a child,
I ate watermelon cooled in a canyon stream
with the scent of pine so cold and fresh
it seemed like summer and winter joined hands.
For a few moments,
Didn’t I have it all?

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

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Clutter or Treasure?

Yesterday, I got a frantic text message from my sister.

“Do you have my copy of “He Shall Feed His Flock?” Jim and I are singing Sunday!

I didn’t think I had it, but I don’t like to disappoint my sister. I also know that my music files are in need of reorganization, weeding out excess, and general clean up. It’s a project I’ve been meaning to do…so, I put other things aside and started to dig in.

Two hours later, my floor was covered with piles of choir music, Easter music, Christmas music, children’s choir, piano, organ, and popular tunes. I was deep in the “messy middle” and flooded with memories of my mother, my teachers, musicians I’ve accompanied, students, and music I love. I found music I’d forgotten about, music I still want to learn, and some I was ready to let go to recycling or donation.

Another text message incoming!

“Jim found it!”

My heart sank a little looking at the incomplete task all around me. I gave myselt permission to take a break and continue the purge later.

Later was this morning. Among the treasures I found were these two drawings from a young Korean piano student I taught about twenty years ago. It made me happy to remember how cute he was when learning a little piece in “blues” style.

Many areas of my home are needing this kind of attention. The drive to clean out, simplify, and create space is real at this stage of my life. The challenge is to break it down into manageable chunks. My music chunk is done for now. That feels good even if it took a frantic text message to get me moving.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 6 Comments

Sweetness

My slice of life today is courtesy of one of my granddaughters who wrote me some poems for my birthday. She read them to me on my birthday, but today, I received them in my text messages. It made me so happy. She’s a spunky and creative 4th grader.

She created her pages with images she found online, knowing I adore flowers. There are two poems below. The 2nd and 3rd images are a single poem.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 8 Comments

Shoulding

Even though I know better, I’m doing it again. “Shoulding all over myself.” This phrase makes people laugh, but it is a very uncomfortable feeling. AI told me that “The phrase “shoulding all over yourself” was coined by Albert Ellis, a psychologist known for developing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), to describe the tendency to overwhelm oneself with “should” statements or expectations.”

I went away for a few days. I SHOULD have kept up with my writing, but I didn’t.

I’m trying to write this morning. I SHOULD have a story, an idea, a poem, or a good question, but my brain keeps rejecting every possibility.

I SHOULD have practiced the piano more in the last week. Actually, I didn’t practice.

I SHOULD organize all the things. I met someone in the Verizon store last week who said she had actually finished her Swedish Death Cleaning. Done. I was beyond impressed, but I SHOULDN’T compare.

The daily SHOULDs of cleaning, cooking, laundry, are ever present.

But what do I WANT when the SHOULDs stop shouting? I just want peace, time with my loved ones, maybe a walk outside, or a little needlework. That’s really enough.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

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Undone

I’ve become quite skilled and undoing my work. Stitches that were uneven, carefully picked out and restitched. Piano fingering I learned, unlearned and refingered for better execution. The garden I planted once, redesigned for less intense maintenance. The stories I’ve told myself for many years, now seen with different eyes, revised.

These undoings have taught me a lot. They are a mix of improvement, grace, and surrender.

I used to fear coming “undone.” Now it seems there’s no other way to move forward.

NOTE: This bit of writing came after an hour spent pulling out stitches in a sweater I thought I had just finished for my granddaughter. It’s ok. Most of it survived the undoing.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 4 Comments

March 11, 2025

Dates matter. Especially the older I get, the more I attach connections, memories, and stories to dates. People say to leave the past in the past, and that is true for some experiences, but not all.

Today, I’m imagining what my mother was thinking and feeling 70 years ago, knowing that she would bring me home from the hospital the next day on her 2nd child’s 8th birthday. I was a 2 1/2 pound preemie born in the 1950s. Since my mother had 3 children at home, the hospital allowed her to bring me home earlier than normal. I did not yet weigh five pounds. My sister always said I was HER birthday present that year.

This has been a year of hospitalizations for my sister. Her health has measureably declined fairly rapidly. Today was our first outing that wasn’t a doctor appointment since September. Bright sunshine, warmer temperatures, a cute, little family-owned restaurant (The Wild Tomato), and time with my two older sisters was pretty darn great. We laughed, shared memories, told stories, and didn’t mention allergists, neurologists, or any other kind of doctor.

She helped care for me when I was tiny, and now I am able to help her. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

Posted on by mgminer · 6 Comments

AI Rebellion

Rebellion might be a strong word, but it’s what I feel when AI-powered apps I’ve tried get too bossy. For example, Noom kept telling me what I already knew and gently scolded (reminded) me to do better with my diet. Did I lose any weight? Nope, because the rebel in me resisted being told to stick to the plan.

A similar thing happened this fall, when I decided to use Duoling to refresh my college German and add Welsh to my language study. The first few weeks went well. I was moving along with my German and was surprised what I remembered after 50 years. Welsh was brand new to me and it was fun to finally hear and see what those long strings of consonants sounded like.

As long as I did my lessons for the day, Duolingo was working for me. But then I missed a day and then another day. Text messages and email reminders started to flow in my inbox. And I was chastened again by the AI voice that got in my brain. I would tell myself “you’re being ridiculous.” It’s a program, not a person. Nobody knew I had fallen “behind” except me. I felt anxious about it, and I kept feeling like a failure with the relentless messaging. I also was uninterested in the “gaming” aspects of these apps.

Once again, I got my hackles up and deleted that app. I’m wondering if AI apps create a new version of perfectionism, which for recovering perfectionists like me, can be difficult to manage. Part of me knows that I cut myself off from a free learning tool, but was the tool worth it if it felt tyrannical? Was it self-sabotage? I don’t know.

I’m curious what your experiences have been.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.

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Due Diligence

This post is purely for due diligence. I have no story except it was Spring Forward today. I’ve been behind all day. Where did the day go?

That’s all.

Thank you to all who make this writing space
a place of safety, support, and beauty.