Rage Against the Roach

It’s war. This week we have had many heavy rains and I have come across not one, but four large American cockroaches in the house. They are huge! More than 2 inches long. Some may think their cherry wood brown color a lovely match to my end tables, but I’ve been freaking out. I don’t know how they are getting in as their habitat is OUTSIDE.

I found one roach already dead downstairs. Relief. The next one I trapped under a glass. After showing it to the grandsons, my husband took it outside. The third I was able to wound and catch; whereupon, it was promptly flushed.

Then last Thursday evening, I happened to glance up at the painting over the fireplace and was horrified to see another creeping down the wall. It was huge! The biggest one yet with long feelers moving every which way. I jumped to my feet, grabbed a flip-flop, and was determined to end this invasion of my home.

It dropped. It moved so fast; I couldn’t find it. A few minutes later, I heard a noise coming from behind the lamp on the window blinds. Aha! I whacked it with my flip-flop, but only grazed it. It dropped again. I saw it hiding in the corner. Slowly, I crept toward that brown menace. Whack! Whack! [scream] Whack! I know I made contact, but that blasted roach took off again.

I moved the couch ready to pounce. It had vanished. I got up twice in the night to surprise attack. But there was no roach. I’ve been on edge ever since. Roach #4 is still at large.

My husband reminds me that cockroaches have existed longer than mankind, and that they will likely survive long after we’re gone. That was not comforting, thank you very much.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Debbie Lynn
    Aug 18, 2020 @ 20:33:39

    Oh my gosh…aren’t they the most wicked critters? Reading your story gave me chills up my spine. We had a spell with them in the spring that about drove me crazy. I found some spray and sprayed around my doors inside and out and it really seems to have helped. Home Defense by Ortho

    Reply

  2. Tim Gels
    Aug 18, 2020 @ 21:32:59

    Marilyn, assuming I’m sympathetic to your plight, is it okay if I laughed at your saga? The rage cracked me up! I do understand, though. Roaches don’t bother me, except when they surprise me. And, since they rarely announce their presence in a friendly manner, I guess I just don’t like roaches either. Thanks for the slice!

    Reply

  3. Amy Ellerman
    Aug 18, 2020 @ 22:52:24

    Oh, my goodness, I laughed out loud reading this—you crafted this so skillfully, balancing your genuine horror with humor.

    Reply

  4. cvarsalona
    Aug 18, 2020 @ 23:39:07

    The humor in your slice overshadows the reality that is both annoying and unfortunate. I hear your frustration. I have cave critters that jump up and hop around when lights go on. It is spooking in nighttime.

    Reply

  5. Lakshmi Bhat
    Aug 19, 2020 @ 03:22:50

    Your husband hit the nail on the head 🙂 But roaches do give the creep.

    Reply

  6. Lakshmi Bhat
    Aug 19, 2020 @ 03:22:50

    Your husband hit the nail on the head 🙂 But roaches do give the creep.

    Reply

  7. jumpofffindwings
    Aug 19, 2020 @ 10:08:42

    We used to call them “Volkswagens” when they’d insert themselves into our apartment in FL. Glad they aren’t a part of the Oregon fauna…at least I haven’t spied one yet!

    Reply

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