Over the last few years, I have been happy that my son is experiencing success as a husband, father, accountant manager, and baseball coach. He is in those very busy years. I admit sometimes I have wondered if I know how to be the mother or grandmother he needs me to be. Sometimes it even feels that I’m not needed.

People always said that a successful parent works themselves out of a job. The kids grow and establish themselves as adults. I get that. It’s probably true. I’m happy my kids are high-functioning adults, but there is sometimes a loneliness I feel that is hard to describe.

Today, I took my son to have surgery he needed. On the way, he was very quiet. I knew he was nervous, and I struggled to find words to comfort him. I found myself missing MY parents. I wanted to ask them how to do this phase of life, (parenting adults) but they are both gone. I kept my thoughts to myself and tried to be calm and reassuring.

On the way home, he was still coming out of the effects of anesthesia. It lowered his guard just enough. He was actually pretty hilarious–singing, and asking funny questions. He sang a high note. “That’s a C-flat.” Haha. Then, a low note. Then he sang some of Bach’s “Air for G-String.” So amazing how fast his brain was circling.

He asked me several times, “Did they get it? Did you see it? I didn’t die, right?”

But then he said, “Thanks for taking me, Mom. You’re a great mom. I’m a lucky boy.”

Yup. I’m still his mom. It feels so good.

Thank you to the Two Writing Teachers Community.

4 thoughts on “Reflection

  1. Oh! I’m still in the busy phase of parenting, and this makes me want to call my mom and tell her that I still need her, even if she has worked herself out of a job. That moment in this post when you wish your parents were around… I suspect that will be true forever: you’ll always be his mom and he will always need you in some way.

  2. This is beautifully paced and written, but I find I have to comment on the content! I so related to those of us with adult children who barely need us and it is so hard to find a chance to talk with. I smiled at your son losing inhibition as the anesthetic wears off, giving you a sweet mom moment.

  3. I so appreciate the honesty of this slice. How you looked for someone to tell you how to do it but the older generation is gone. That’s such a true, lonely feeling. But then you end on a happy note. You show that answers aren’t needed. Just being there is what is needed. This slice shows love so strongly. Thaks for sharing.

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